Michelle Tant

There must be a faint reassurance in the unfailing nature of my complete failure to update my blog on a semi regular basis. As I said in my last post, babies continue to be born, life goes on! I'm feeling vaguely poetic this evening so here is a little reflection on birthing for you. So, nearly six months have passed since I last wrote. I upped my shifts at the hospital and generally did 3-4 short shifts per week until August when Kev was back in regular work.  I now tend to do one short shift per week on a weekend and am fortunate enough to be able to continue to give care and 'love' in the way I know best.  Just last weekend, a beautiful slippery warm baby was born into my waiting hands and I can tell you there is no feeling like it on earth.  I look at these babies and feel absolute awe at the wonder of life and creation, and the strength and resilience of the women birthing them. Sometimes they open their eyes mid-birth, peering out past squashed chubby cheeks and blo...

(November 2016b) Recently I was introduced to the concept of ‘Hygge’, or rather I was recently introduced to the word to describe a principle I realise I already aim to live by. On reflecting on the topic further I made the connection also to my midwifery practice – I often receive feedback from women that I help them to feel ‘safe’ and for me safety in my personal life is wrapped up in the safeguards of my close-knit family life and community of friends. Hygge is a Danish word and is virtually impossible to pronounce in English but you will recognise the feeling of cosiness, intimacy, woolly socks and hot chocolate around an open-fire-ness even if you haven’t been to Denmark, apparently the happiest country in the world. It occurred to me that Hygge and Midwifery were a duo demanding a little extra attention. Photo credit: http://www.chatelaine.com/living/hygge-danish-concept-could-make-winter-more-bearable/   After a busy couple of shifts, I am simultaneously...

(October 2016) When you complete your midwifery training you might be under the illusion that you can purchase a smaller bag for work. That is all it is, an illusion. On starting your brand new job you will be presented with your ‘Band 5 Book’. And it looks remarkably like your student PAD but without the page of signatures. In the UK a vast majority (I would hope all?) of newly qualified midwives benefit from a preceptorship program of some sort to help them gain extra skills and experience. Generally speaking this will include skills such as perineal suturing and cannulation, additional skills to help you to provide continuity of care for the women you look after. So on handing in my precious ‘book’, I am now a Band 6 midwife and I thought it might be a good point in time to reflect. Achieving the skills required to for Band 6 has at times felt very task oriented, having to do something a certain amount of times to be considered competent (and m...

 (January 2016) It take three years of fulltime study, combining theory with practice, (and a whole heap of blood, sweat and tears)  to become a qualified and registered midwife. The question I have repeatedly asked myself, since donning my navy blue ‘Midwife’ polo shirt for the first time, is whether those three years adequately prepare you for the emotional and physical onslaught that being a newly qualified midwife is. Two months in and my answer to this is yes and no. My “yes” has me visiting some basic truths – I qualified as a midwife and as such I feel able to competently support a woman through her pregnancy, birth and postnatal period. I know what is normal and I know who to speak to when it becomes… not normal. I know I am not alone and that senior midwives come out of the woodwork when I ask for help. I know these things in my head… and occasionally in my heart. In my heart I love midwifery and this is what keeps me pressing through my “no”. My “no” is...

 (September 2015) Image credit: http://www.thensmc.com/resources/showcase/be-star?view=all Since qualifying as a Breastfeeding Counsellor I have worked with over 500 fathers in antenatal breastfeeding education. The overwhelming impression I am given from them is that of a desire to be involved and to support their partners throughout the process. This desire is borne out in the research (Sherriff et al 2009; Rempel and Rempel 2010; Brown and Davies 2014) and what is interesting is that it also shows that mothers whose partner are supportive are more likely to have a positive breastfeeding experience (Meedya 2010). Image credit: http://beingdadboston.weebly.com/photo-credits.html I have subsequently become increasingly interested in supporting this need, particularly as my class experience shows me that often partners have the view that in order to help their partner they must feed the baby, thus ‘relieving’ the mother of the ‘burden’ of breastfeeding....

(June 2015) While on this final count down to qualification, I recently sat an exam for the module ‘Leadership’. When I saw this title on the timetable for third year I will admit to feeling a bit confused. I equated leadership with being in charge of people but it turns out I was confusing leadership with management and while one person can be both a leader and a manager, not all managers are leaders and not all leaders are in any sort of management position. I have been surprised by how gripped I have been by this notion of leadership at every level and then reading about Maternity Experience 2015 (#MatExp) as well as the amazing ROAR book (Byrom & Downe 2015) has really brought it to life for me so I thought I would put together my thoughts on leadership and how I intend to ACT in June and beyond. My revision led me to realise that true leadership is significant in every part of professional and personal life. Mullins (2009) described leadership as a re...

 (May 2015) Parents in my antenatal sessions express a number of anxieties about breastfeeding and the early parenting experience however one stands out above the rest; pain. My own dissertation findings highlighted that partners were also worried that it would be painful, with an additional anxiety about how to protect her from this difficulty. Much of breastfeeding antenatal education is focussed on achieving pain free breastfeeding and in supporting women in their feeding problems, sore nipples is a recurrent issue. It has been said that “If you’re doing it properly then it shouldn’t hurt” and this statement has sat uncomfortably with me for a very long time. Ultimately it blames the woman for her own pain, and regardless of her proficiency at positioning and attachment, this sort of language does not empower or encourage women. Furthermore it may well be that her technique is ‘textbook perfect’ but there may be another reason for the pain such as a tongue tie, Raynaud...

I tried recently to pin point the moment in my life when I realised that what I really wanted to do with my life, in fact, needed to do with my life, was to be a midwife.   Truth be told although there was a moment of the seed being planted, it has taken a while for me to really grasp the enormity of this choice. Being a midwife is not just about catching babies and it is so important to really think, I mean really think about it. I don't suppose anything can prepare you for the inevitable sad side of the role but equally I don't suppose you'd be human if that side didn't affect you.   I've always known I wanted to work with people and so it was no real surprise that I ended up in the housing industry. Loads of opportunity to support people but ultimately I am still asking of people. They have to pay the rent and I have to ask for it.   When I was trying to get pregnant I discovered a thirst for knowledge about how it all happens, I was absolutely fascinated. ...

I tried recently to pin point the moment in my life when I realised that what I really wanted to do with my life, in fact, needed to do with my life, was to be a midwife. Truth be told although there was a moment of the seed being planted, it has taken a while for me to really grasp the enormity of this choice. Being a midwife is not just about catching babies and it is so important to really think, I mean really think about it. I don't suppose anything can prepare you for the inevitable sad side of the role but equally I don't suppose you'd be human if that side didn't affect you. I've always known I wanted to work with people and so it was no real surprise that I ended up in the housing industry. Loads of opportunity to support people but ultimately I am still asking of people. They have to pay the rent and I have to ask for it. When I was trying to get pregnant I discovered a thirst for knowledge about how it all happens, I was absolutely fascinated. When I got p...

When I was pregnant with my 3rd child, I mentioned to my midwife that I had an interest in having a homebirth. For a couple of panic stricken moments she simply stared at me. On that basis alone you would assume that she was anti-homebirth. But I happen to know she's not. Her reaction was purely to do with my birthing history. My first child was born by cesarean section. When I got pregnant that first time, I was full of plans for a natural birth. My own mother had given birth naturally with no problems, 5 times. In fact of all the women in my life I only knew one who'd had a section and that was following severe complications. So when it came about that I had to have a cesarean as a result of Jayden being in a transverse breech lie, I felt that my body had let me down without so much as a murmur of objection. They tried to turn him with an External Cephalic Version but no joy. I was booked to have him ejected through the fire escape a week later. Incidentally I went ...

I want to be a midwife. Not because I love ickle babies, but because I think the female body is incredibly clever, and creative and instinctive. Woman is amazing. She copes with so much, she gives birth, she works, she raises her children, she will strive for self actualisation given the opportunity. I love pregnancy. I enjoyed being pregnant despite its various challenges it presented me with. Setting aside the incredible pain, I loved giving birth. I love to be around pregnant women. I feel inspired by them and motivated to be a better person. I want to support them to have the best experience they could possibly have. I want to be there when that happens. To be a midwife though will mean university for 3 years full-time and that means 3 years essentially away from my own 3 incredible children. So another possibility is to train as an Antenatal Teacher with the NCT. The question I keep asking myself is will that be enough for me? Will I always be wondering if I settled for s...