Michelle Tant

This week my lovely boy was diagnosed with autism. Or is that diagnosed autistic? See how new I am to this? I feel like my head is swimming so I'm writing in the hope that writing, as it usually does, helps give me the clarity and steadiness to my thoughts that I need. Because if I'm absolutely honest, I feel a bit blindsided . It doesn't matter that in fact we have wondered over the years if he might be 'on the spectrum', we have even gone as far at times to say that yes, he has autistic traits but he IS autistic? Turns out it's more surprising than expected. We went to his paediatric review with no other expectations than to get the incontinence nurse chased up and perhaps the suggestion of some more blood tests to investigate the reason he presents with sensory processing difficulties, speech and language disorders and learning difficulties. The Dr greeted us with the observation that it seems that the only avenue left unexplored at the moment is the a...

If you have been reading my ramblings for any amount of time then you know that I really can witter on. More recently my writing has been restricted to university essays so I don't write here as much as I would like to but I was inspired of late to come on here and have a bit of a muse. The thing is, is I come from a long line of witterers, or as I prefer to call us (sounds kinder somehow), storytellers. It's highly likely to be the Irish in me though and I know this apple didn't fall far from the tree that is my Dad. For as long as I can remember, family gatherings have always, and I do mean always, ended with us sat around a table or cuddled on sofas, telling stories of 'The Family'. Some of them I've noticed have evolved over the years, possibly embellished, possibly just added to as more of us have added dimensions to the story. New stories have crept in and I noticed with pleasure that a couple have crept in which involve my husband (of 11.5 years!) so ...

My 4 year old son starts school in September and of course in any family this is big news. My baby boy is growing up, leaving nursery and joining big school with his big brother and his baby sister is taking his place at nursery. Part of the normal cycle of family life. For us though, this has been anything but normal. When I think back to when number one son started school, my feelings couldn't have been more different. I was confident about his ability to fit in, to progress, to get the most out of school. I took it absolutely for granted that this next step in his life would go smoothly, that after a couple of (expected) tears at the classroom door, that he would be flying. And he has... he is happy, popular, well behaved, progressing academically and apparently a pleasure to have in the class. My second son is a sociable, beautiful character with a delightful sense of humour. He has brilliant rythym and loves music. He is a speed demon on his scooter and he will bounce happ...

I tried recently to pin point the moment in my life when I realised that what I really wanted to do with my life, in fact, needed to do with my life, was to be a midwife. Truth be told although there was a moment of the seed being planted, it has taken a while for me to really grasp the enormity of this choice. Being a midwife is not just about catching babies and it is so important to really think, I mean really think about it. I don't suppose anything can prepare you for the inevitable sad side of the role but equally I don't suppose you'd be human if that side didn't affect you. I've always known I wanted to work with people and so it was no real surprise that I ended up in the housing industry. Loads of opportunity to support people but ultimately I am still asking of people. They have to pay the rent and I have to ask for it. When I was trying to get pregnant I discovered a thirst for knowledge about how it all happens, I was absolutely fascinated. When I got p...

There has been a call from Lesley Backhouse, chair of The Breastfeeding Network to scrap the slogan. No its not a backtrack on policy, its an attempt to shift the balance towards breastfeeding being the normal and usual way to feed a baby, rather than formula being the norm and breastfeeding being something slightly out of reach and unusually exceptional. "We've got to knock breastfeeding off this pedestal," said Lesley Backhouse. "It implies something special, whereas breastfeeding is the physiological norm, and suggests that formula is the standard way to feed babies. "Breastfeeding is the only case where the biological norm is expressed as the exception rather than the rule,". Of course breastfeeding IS exceptional, ie its amazing properties, its extraordinary ability to sustain and improve life, to improve life prospects even in terms of surviving childhood, reducing obesity and common childhood illnesses, right up to reducing pre-menopausal bre...

According to government statistics, 96% of women drink less alcohol once they get pregnant. So why is there this 'tar with the same brush' mentality to making recommendations about alcohol consumption? I'm certainly not negating the seriousness of fetal alcohol syndrome but I do think that the women who are going to drink to excess whilst pregnant will do so regardless of the governments well meaning guidelines. The vast majority, yes, safe to say, almost all women take a sensible view to alcohol drinking when pregnant if the figures are to be believed. In fact a third of that 96% actually give up alcohol entirely. There's a part of me that thinks that the whole thing smacks of a nanny state, driven to reactive government styles. Women are more than capable of making these decisions. We are not defenseless, ill-educated dolls hanging about waiting for someone, anyone to please tell us how to look after our bodies and children because really we have no idea. ...

So its happy 1st birthday to my beautiful little girl. Where on earth has that year gone? From what seemed like the longest pregnancy in history, to the fastest 365 days of my life to date... We took the 3 of them out for a meal and she polished off a whole childrens menu meal for herself, gone apparently are the days of snaffling a few bits and pieces from Mummys plate. A big girl no less. The boys were definitely more excited about her birthday than the birthday girl herself who was distinctly underwhelmed by the whole experience. She sailed through the day as if to say "well of course all this attention directed my way is normal". The way she just takes it all in with a beautific, if not a little cheeky, smile, is so telling of her character though so far. Perhaps its something to do with being a third child, perhaps not, but either way she is so easy and happy. The boys adore her and she charms everyone she encounters. So *cheers* Here's to another year of cu...

This year has felt like one attack after another on breastfeeding. There's been the ongoing Facebook debacle; photos of breastfeeding being removed while Playboys pages are continued to be allowed to flaunt more flesh than a whole convention of breastfeeding mothers. Then there was the ridiculous opinion piece in the British Medical Journal which many newspapers, including The Daily Fail regurgitated as fact, further undermining the benefits of breastfeeding. Just this week I saw a short piece in Practical Parenting magazine about the Chinese developing GM cows to produce human milk! One sentence says the milk will have more nutritional content in it, though its unclear whether it means than breastmilk or than formula milk. And now this. http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/campaigners-livid-as-whitehall-axes-breastfeeding-week-2287445.html Our beloved government in its wisdom has cut national support for National Breastfeeding ...

We recently went for a walk in the woods and after taking this gorgeous picture of the three men in my life, it occurred to me that they rarely get a look in on my blog so here they are. A beautiful day spent with my most favourite people in the whole world. One of those days when you remember to count your blessings, each and every one of them. Published with Blogger-droid v1.5.9

A friend said to me the other day how her own mother was pressurising her about her weight loss. My friend is 8 weeks post partum. The hurt I felt on her behalf cut me to the core. The one person who is supposed to be a guaranteed cheerleader is your mother. That doesn't stop once you become an adult. In fact if there was ever a time you need your mothers support and unconditional approval, its when you become a mother yourself. Mothering is hard! It's also joyful, rewarding, surprising, fulfilling and utterly mad. But it is also relentless, tiring, heart wrenching and complicated. Who doesn't need the occasional shoulder to lean or cry on? Mothers are uniquely placed to be supportive of other mothers. Who should know this but a mother? Our own mothers have 'been there and done that'... sometimes right, sometimes wrong but they have been there and they know that this mothering lark is not as black and white as the books would have us think. Now ...

My boys enjoying an ice cream on Brighton Pier. Their faces smothered! Published with Blogger-droid v1.5.9

This morning I met with the Occupational Therapist with Reuben. Amazingly the last time we saw her wad a year ago. It really is shocking that it has been that long but that is typical of the NHS really, lack of funding means that you get discharged from their service at the first opportunity. Perfect example, Reuben is being assessed for verbal development delay as basically I can't understand much of what he says never mind anyone else and he's been discharged several times. It's madness. A less determined person might have given up by now but I believe that Reuben needs help, more help than I'm equipped to give and that's not false modesty, that's accepting that someone else may have better insight into some of my sons needs than I do and I have to say that admittance does not come easily to me by any means. As a mother I believe that the vast majority of the time I know what's best for my children. I'm not an ego maniac, I'm a mummy! Sometim...

Tomorrow will be my 6th Mothers day. Seems almost unreal that I have been a mother for that long. I've been been reflecting today about my 'place' in mothers day. I know that to my children I am the main event so to speak on this day. But I know that I am most definitely not the main event. It's a funny day really, because even though I'm now a mother, I still celebrate my own mother. I am blessed beyond words to still have my mum and also to have a fantastic mother in law. All the while I celebrate these two women in my life, they are my main events on this day. And rightly so in my mind. The mothers day where I am the main event is the mothers day I'm in mourning and so for that reason I will enjoy my brief moment of Mummy spoiling first thing in the morning with my 3 beautiful children, and then I will throw myself into the celebration of the women who made my Mummy-hood possible. I don't want Mothers day to just be about me, we need to appre...

"I am woman! I am invincible! I am pooped!" ~Author Unknown Today is International Womens Day. Its also the 100th anniversary, first celebrated in 1911. Believe it or not, some countries actually celebrate it as a national holiday. We've come a long way baby but I get the distinct feeling we still have a way to go. A world where some women still die in childbirth where in other countries they dont, some women are routinely beaten by thier male relatives, women are still blamed for their own rapes, women still earn less than men overall and have less high powered jobs than men. Shocking stuff so yes, a way to go. "The test for whether or not you can hold a job should not be the arrangement of your chromosomes." Bella Abzug A friend lately gave birth to her second child via cesarean section. Both labours failed to progress and it is more than likely that she would not have survived her first labour had she been giving birth 100 years ago or today in a country w...

I'm not exactly Alan Titchmarsh but I have this vegetable plot in my back garden and I grow bits and pieces in it and its been an, up to now, 'Mummys stuff, don't touch!' area. And actually that's been just the way I've liked it. However Jayden (5) has been asking questions about growing things and so in a rash moment I said when I next go to the garden centre he can choose the things we can grow. He drew up a list. On the list... carrots, potatoes (fine) apples (er...) bananas (hell no) so it was with a certain amount of trepidation that we set off. They naturally enjoyed the ride on the trolley and actually the choosing of seeds etc wasn't quite as painful as I'd envisaged. We left with potatoes, green beans, rhubarb, spring onions, a raspberry bush, a vegetable multipack and a herb multipack. That was apparently the easy part. The hard part it turned out was relinquishing some sort of control over the plot itself. In the name of 'family t...

With one NHS Trust losing 22.5% of its staff, health care in the UK is looking dicier by the day. Check out this article in The Guardian http://m.guardian.co.uk/society/2011/feb/23/nhs-to-lose-50000-jobs?cat=society&type=article Cutting nhs staff is not the answer to the UKs problems. All that will achieve is a lowering of standards in healthcare. Perhaps the government should look closer to itself to make the savings rather than attacking the living standards of everyday people yet again. Being a bleeding heart lefty, I was less than overjoyed at the election of a coalition government headed up by the Tories. Doesn't anyone remember what they did to us in the past? A number of people I spoke to said they were voting blue because of their family friendly policies. Well look at us now. * Surestart centres - funding slashed and centres closing. * Tax credits reducing, mainly affecting mid-lower income families * Child benefit to be gone in next few years * Mass...

Today I am thankful. I have literally held my breath since September, the date 11th February hanging heavily over my head. The day we find out. I didn't realise that I've been walking round with a constriction around my chest, watching, waiting. Seeing symptoms where I now know there to be none. Because that is what worry does to you. That is what being a mother does to you. And I'm not generally a paranoid type. So I heard with my own ears. Saw with my own eyes that he is fine. My beautiful boy, the little boy that people keep saying to me 'has something about him' is in possession of a beautifully healthy heart. As if I didn't know... Published with Blogger-droid v1.5.9

A lot has been said in the media of late about our Carbon Footprint – the principle being that every human activity either directly or indirectly causes greenhouse gases to be released into the atmosphere and this contributes to climate change. I’d like to reduce my carbon footprint but its actually really hard! Funnily enough there is one thing I do which has a zero carbon footprint (CF), and that is breastfeeding! The production of baby milk substitutes has a high CF due to the rearing of the cows, the production of the cows feed, manufacture and transportation of the milk powder, the manufacture of the product itself, then there’s the packaging – tins, plastic etc. The long shelf life of formula milk means that a hard wearing container is essential. When I sit here and breastfeed, my carbon footprint is minimal… I say minimal because I do admittedly need to breathe… #justsayin But as I’ve already said, living greener doesn’t just have to mean drinking out of used yoghurt pots and we...

I was brought up to have an awareness of the world around me, my Nan was a green campaigner, specifically protesting against the development of nuclear weapons and so I feel like it’s a part of me somehow, in my genes if you like! So it was no surprise to my mother I would imagine when I came home with the leaflet from a petition I’d signed to stop the testing on animals for cosmetics etc. I was as furious as any 12 year old can be and I started writing letters, to the Prime Minister, to the cosmetics companies, to my local paper, anyone who would listen, but mainly those who wouldn’t. At times, as a young person, I felt utterly overwhelmed by the enormity of the issues of animal cruelty, what could I do? As I grew up I carried on with the letters etc and a couple of protests at school, I learnt about other issues going on in the world, injustices towards children in the developing world, continuing prejudices on my own doorstep… It really sometimes feels like too much. How is it that ...

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