Michelle Tant

I'm a Christian. A Christian mummy. I know that my calling right now (and indeed for the rest of my life) is being the best mother I can be. But what about the rest? I know I have other 'things' in my life - the breastfeeding counselling, writing etc, but what about the conviction I've had all my Christian life that I'm meant to be doing something. Else that is. I've read Proverbs 31 inside out and I long to be the woman there, industrious, creative, an excellent wife and mother but it is very easy to hold Mrs Proverbs up as a yardstick and find myself so incredibly lacking. God loves me, weaknesses and all, I have no doubt about that but I know I have more in me than I'm giving out right now. I was prayed for in church this morning and he said that God does make almost 'allowances' for the childbearing years and don't hear me wrong, but knowing that doesn't make me much less frustrated. I suppose desire wise I'm in a good place...

This afternoon I went to an appointment with Daisy at the children's hospital. It was a follow up for the storm in a teacup rustled up by my health professionals. They initially decided she had early closure of the anterior fontanelle so we were referred straight to the hospital as the implications of this are quite serious often resulting in cranial surgery. Thankfully the consultant said that wasn't the case, that he wasn't worried at all. Turns out its highly likely my health visitor measured her head incorrectly. Either way I was intensely relieved ad you can imagine. So imagine my disbelief when they decided that she was too small for her age!!! I held my tongue, after all, this country is renowned for coming down hard on people who DON'T have a problem, and leaving those WITH a problem to get on with it. Anyhow, I digress. So blood tests ensued along with weight monitoring. All along I maintained that she was perfectly healthy, just not massive, afterall...