Wednesday, 23 February 2011

Don't Wear Black

When my first born was a week old, I asked my health visitor what I could do about the frequent sick ups or 'possetting' and her advice? "Don't wear black!".

To some people that might seem rather unhelpful and actually when she said it I kind of stared at her for a moment before allowing it to sink in that what she was actually saying was that the small amount of milk coming back after feeding wasn't a problem. It took my baby brain befuddled mind a few moments to appreciate the subtlety but we got there in the end.

She quite skillfully (wierdly) gave me information and allayed fears without being patronizing. She didn't simply tell me not to worry. If there is one thing I find infuriating is being told not to worry about something. There's a couple of issues here.

Number One. I'm a mum, I worry, that's my job.

Number Two. By telling me not to worry you are dismissing my fears. Not cool.

Number Three. Don't tell me what to do/feel and I won't poke you in the eye with a tube of nappy/diaper cream. Deal?

My first trip to the supermarket after Jayden was born was cut short as in the chilled foods aisle I became convinced he'd catch a cold. I abandoned the trolley and hightailed it back to my cozy car, bewildered husband in tow. Irrational? Likely. Normal for a new mum? Almost certainly. But could anyone at that moment have convinced me that my baby was unlikely to contract pneumonia from the cheese fridges? Probably not.

My lovely caring husband, even though he in all likelihood thought I was bonkers, humored me and went out alone later that day for supplies. He didn't tell me not to worry. By doing this he validated my feelings and respected my new-mum-decision-making.

He also brought home chocolate. Good boy.
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1 comment:

  1. We were told not to worry about Lara's sick ups for weeks. Eventually at about 11 weeks we were told "if she loses any more weight we could try infant Gaviscon". We didn't want to wait for her to lose weight so got the doctor to prescribe some. She's now much happier and needs feeding less often (and we can wear black!).

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