But what about the rest? I know I have other 'things' in my life - the breastfeeding counselling, writing etc, but what about the conviction I've had all my Christian life that I'm meant to be doing something. Else that is.
I've read Proverbs 31 inside out and I long to be the woman there, industrious, creative, an excellent wife and mother but it is very easy to hold Mrs Proverbs up as a yardstick and find myself so incredibly lacking. God loves me, weaknesses and all, I have no doubt about that but I know I have more in me than I'm giving out right now.
I was prayed for in church this morning and he said that God does make almost 'allowances' for the childbearing years and don't hear me wrong, but knowing that doesn't make me much less frustrated. I suppose desire wise I'm in a good place. My heart wants more to my relationship with God than I have at the moment and I know that thats a good place to be.
I need to spend some time waiting on Him I guess. I do know he has it in hand, that he has my days planned and they are good and hopeful plans, but my impatient human mind sometimes gets the better of me.
I think though that this year something will change. I know too that we won't be facing it alone.
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