Wednesday, 15 December 2010

Storm in a Teacup?

This afternoon I went to an appointment with Daisy at the children's hospital. It was a follow up for the storm in a teacup rustled up by my health professionals. They initially decided she had early closure of the anterior fontanelle so we were referred straight to the hospital as the implications of this are quite serious often resulting in cranial surgery.

Thankfully the consultant said that wasn't the case, that he wasn't worried at all. Turns out its highly likely my health visitor measured her head incorrectly. Either way I was intensely relieved ad you can imagine. So imagine my disbelief when they decided that she was too small for her age!!!

I held my tongue, after all, this country is renowned for coming down hard on people who DON'T have a problem, and leaving those WITH a problem to get on with it. Anyhow, I digress.

So blood tests ensued along with weight monitoring. All along I maintained that she was perfectly healthy, just not massive, afterall my boys are not exactly elephants. I explained time and time again that she is exclusively breastfed, she's healthy with good colour, cheerful and contented, plenty (yes plenty) of wet and pooey nappies). All good indicators that this has been a fuss about nothing.

And thankfully today I met with the consultant who agreed with me. Woohoo!! So he discharged her which was wonderful.

He saw in her notes though that her brothers have both been seen and wanted to know how it was all going (maybe his next appt cancelled?!) So I explained about Jayden Hemihypertrophy, which as usual, he found fascinating, its pretty unusual after all.

Then on to Reuben. Now I've been keeping a tenuous hold on my emotions about Roo. It doesn't matter if someone tells you not to worry. No one can tell you that! Whether I worry or not has nothing to do with anyone else. Apart from anything else, I'm his mother, its my job to worry, I can't help it.

Telling me not to worry results in me feeling dismissed and like a chastised child.

His appointment came through this morning.11th Feb and we will be seeing the consultant Cardiologist and he will be doing an Echo.

Then on the 22nd Feb he sees the Pediatrician again for follow up to his digestive issues. The consultant I saw today recommended that at that appointment I ask for a developmental review for his speech etc.

It's so frustrating to have to push for everything. Exhausting in fact. It took ages to get occupational health therapy for him for his gross and fine motor delay, then I had to go outside the local hospital trust to get an Ear, Nose & Throat referral. He's had speech therapy for a year now, but this term they haven't contacted his nursery which they said they would so I'll need to Chase that up too.

Point is, I didn't know I could ask the Ped for a developmental review. It's like fighting your way through a thick fog sometimes.

So now we have the heart appointment and I'm glad its come through finally. Because then we can get on, one way or another. At the moment I feel caught in suspended animation. Holding my breath whenever he seems too tired. Second guessing myself all the time. Am I fussing, is he normal?

There's every chance they'll say that its nothing, that there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for the results we've had so far. Then there's the darker moments when I worry worry worry.

I have faith that God is watching my beautiful little boy and I just need to keep holding onto that. He's answered my prayers before and He can answer them again.
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