I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want

I want to be a midwife. Not because I love ickle babies, but because I think the female body is incredibly clever, and creative and instinctive. Woman is amazing. She copes with so much, she gives birth, she works, she raises her children, she will strive for self actualisation given the opportunity.

I love pregnancy. I enjoyed being pregnant despite its various challenges it presented me with. Setting aside the incredible pain, I loved giving birth. I love to be around pregnant women. I feel inspired by them and motivated to be a better person. I want to support them to have the best experience they could possibly have. I want to be there when that happens.

To be a midwife though will mean university for 3 years full-time and that means 3 years essentially away from my own 3 incredible children.

So another possibility is to train as an Antenatal Teacher with the NCT. The question I keep asking myself is will that be enough for me? Will I always be wondering if I settled for second best? Is it second best? I just don't know.
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