Tuesday, 19 January 2010

In which the year went back to normal

... whatever that is of course.

I've spent the day scrubbing, cleaning, changing beds, cooking, changing nappies and for a brief interlude, played a puzzle with my 2 year old and watched Chuggington with him. This is why I work part time. So that I can be the uber-housewife.

NO!!!

I work part time to spend time with my kids. So how come when ever anyone mentions the hushed word 'cleaner' does the rest of the population seem to go into judgemental overdrive? I might say also that the most vocal of these are the women who had their kids a looong time ago, and were able to give up work until they sent them off to school. Of course then some worked part time hours and the kids had to 'get on with it' while they scrubbed and cleaned.

Most families these days cannot afford to have a parent not working. Our mortgages and living costs don't allow it. I haven't bought clothes for myself in goodness knows how long, and forget about eating out; I've pulled in the belt at every opportunity in order to spend this time with them and so yes, I might have a spare 15 quid to now spend on a cleaner so that I can actually do the thing I work part time for. Raise my children.

Unfortunately I made the mistake of sharing this information and to say I was looked at like I was some degenerate is an understatement. The implication was clear. Can't I cope? I clearly am not a good enough mother that I simply cannot fit it all in.

I wonder if pressed whether these same mums would have liked to spend more pleasure time with thier kids? That if when they pick them up from school, they didnt have to change the beds, wash the floors and clean the kitchen and bathroom before putting the dinner on, whether they might have enjoyed it a teensy bit more?

Last week, one day after school I ignored the house. I walked straight past it and took the kids to the park where we played until it was too cold, then came home, I stuck in the dinner (which incidentally I had prepared earlier) and that was so nice.

Of course I paid for it later with having to do housework all evening rather than collapsing on the sofa and resting my poor pregnant body but hey ho.

So this is me. I want a cleaner, the question really being, how much do I really care about what people think of my mothering/wifely skills in order to get what I really wnat out of life?

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